1. For the first month after buying a house, you should really just have your paychecks sent directly to Home Depot.
2. Babies have really poor decision-making skills. See: eating leaves and standing up in shopping cart seats while moving.
3. There are too many mosquitoes in the Houston area.
4. All cable companies were started by individuals who want to make life harder for their customers.
5. Having your mom in town after moving to a new city is a good way to forget about how lonely you were last week.
6. Buying a house with more square footage would be a lot more fun if it didn't also entail having to clean all that extra square footage.
7. Living near family > not living near family.
8. You know you talk to Siri too much when your child asks you a question, you tell him you don't know the answer, and he suggests you ask Siri.
9. There is no unawkward response to being told you "have a beautiful speech pattern" by the Starbucks barista. (What does that even mean? I must have been extra eloquent when I told him I had a reward to redeem and thanked him for my drink.)
10. Dining rooms look better when they aren't full of crap... not that I would know.